Is There Such A Thing As Healthy Narcissism?

Discover that ‘healthy narcissism’ is an oxymoron!

All of us have an ego wounded self who is narcissistic to one degree or another. For the purpose of this article, I am defining narcissism as abandoning responsibility for ourselves and expecting someone else to attend to us and define our self-worth, or expecting something external to fill us up and make us feel loved. Given this definition, ‘healthy narcissism’ is an oxymoron. Continue reading Is There Such A Thing As Healthy Narcissism?

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Who Am I?

Take a lesson from Elvis Presley: Learn to define your own worth, instead of having to ask others, “Who am I”

I recently attended a conference and one of the speakers was David Stanley, who lived with Elvis Presley as his stepbrother since David was four years old. His book, about his experiences with Elvis, called “Conversations With the King,” just got published. The book is co-authored by my good friend, Dr. David Gruder.

In the book, and in David Stanley’s presentation at the conference, we learn that Elvis constantly asked David, “Who am I?” He asked him this for the last time, just two days before he died.

According to David, Elvis was a very spiritual man, with profoundly powerful spiritual gifts. Yet, with all his gifts and talents and fame, he didn’t know how to discover who he was. As we all know, he was deeply drug-addicted, which eventually killed him. Continue reading Who Am I?

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Inner Peace

We all want inner peace, but do you remember what creates it? Watching this 1 minute movie, “Inner Peace” will remind you!

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process – featured on Oprah, and recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and . . . → Read More: Inner Peace

Will Your Next Marriage be Better?

Discover the surprising statistics about second and third marriages, and why they have such a poor success rate.

“It’s time for me to move on. I’ve learned so much – I just know that next time it will be better.”

“Our new relationship has a great chance, because we’ve both been married before and have learned a lot. We know that this time around we will do it so much better.”

Is this true? Apparently not!

According to research by Jennifer Baker, of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri, while 50% of first marriages end in divorce, 67% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages end in divorce.

Is this surprising? Continue reading Will Your Next Marriage be Better?

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Self-Pity or Self-Compassion

Do you understand the difference between self-pity and self-compassion?

There is a vast difference between feeling sorry for yourself and feeling kindness toward yourself.

Self-Pity

When you see yourself as a victim, you indulge in self-pity. You are a bottomless pit of misery, and you may find yourself crying endless victim tears. You might say things like:

  • Why do bad things always happen to me?
  • I’m a loser and I’ll always be a loser.
  • It’s not fair.
  • God is here for everyone but me.
  • I’m just not one of the lucky ones.
  • Everything is my fault. I’m not good enough.

Self-pity might serve two purposes: Continue reading Self-Pity or Self-Compassion

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Caretaking: A Covert Form of Narcissism

Caretaking is NOT the opposite of narcissism!

I used to think that caretaking was the opposite of narcissism. I thought that narcissists were people who demanded that others give themselves up to care-take the narcissist. I thought that caretakers were people who were programmed to take care of others instead of themselves. I thought that caretakers needed some healthy narcissism and that takers/narcissists needed more compassion for others.

Now I know that there is a bit more to it. Caretakers do give themselves up to take care of others, but underneath their caretaking, they have the same agenda as the narcissist – to be taken care of by the other person.

The kind of narcissism I’m talking about here is about making another person responsible for your feelings and needs.

We all have this kind of narcissism in our ego wounded selves. The wounded self believes that our good feelings come from getting love, rather than from being loving with ourselves and others. Continue reading Caretaking: A Covert Form of Narcissism

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