“If Only You Would Get What You Are Doing!”

Is your relationship stuck in a pattern of blame where you both feel like victims of the other person?


One of the most common dynamics I see with the couples I work with is that each of them is convinced that if only their partner would see what he or she is doing to cause the relationship problems, their relationship would get so much better. They each see clearly what the other person is doing to cause their problems, but they are generally clueless regarding when they are doing. They truly believe that they are just reacting to the other’s unloving behavior instead of understanding that they each brought their own controlling strategies into the relationship.

An example of this is a typical situation that frequently occurs between Gavin and Julie. Continue reading “If Only You Would Get What You Are Doing!”

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Are You Hard On Yourself? 9 Reasons to Love Yourself Instead

If you are hard on yourself, do you believe that this is helpful to you? You might want to re-evaluate this false belief.


Are you hard on yourself? Do you think this is a good thing? Do you believe this motivates you to do better? Think again. If you are doing well, it’s likely in spite of being hard on yourself, not because of it.

Many of us grew up with parents and teachers who believed that being hard on us was the way to motivate us. As children, we absorbed their judgments of us and became strict taskmasters with ourselves.

Are you aware of the negative consequences of being hard on yourself? Continue reading Are You Hard On Yourself? 9 Reasons to Love Yourself Instead

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The ONE Major Cause of Relationship Problems!

What if you could discover the ONE major cause of your relationship problems and it was something that you could do something about? Would you do it? . . . → Read More: The ONE Major Cause of Relationship Problems!