Is your relationship stuck in a pattern of blame where you both feel like victims of the other person?
One of the most common dynamics I see with the couples I work with is that each of them is convinced that if only their partner would see what he or she is doing to cause the relationship problems, their relationship would get so much better. They each see clearly what the other person is doing to cause their problems, but they are generally clueless regarding when they are doing. They truly believe that they are just reacting to the other’s unloving behavior instead of understanding that they each brought their own controlling strategies into the relationship.
“We are in danger of destroying ourselves by our greed and stupidity.” ~Stephen Hawking
“In a country well-governed, poverty is something to be ashamed of. In a country badly governed, wealth is something to be ashamed of.” ~ Confucius
What Causes Greed?
The Free Dictionary defines greed as “an inordinate desire to acquire or possess more than one needs, especially with respect to material wealth.” Continue reading Greed
Do you fear feeling happy because of the pain that might follow?
I’m certain that if someone asked you if you want to be happy, you would say “Yes, of course!” Yet research indicates that many people have a fear of happiness. Anna North, in an article entitled “Beware of Joy”, states that, “Fear of happiness is that creeping feeling that you shouldn’t get too comfortable, because something bad is bound to happen.”
I wouldn’t call this a fear of happiness. I would call it a fear of pain. It’s not the happiness that people want to avoid, but the pain that they fear will follow it.
The article goes on to state that, “At Scientific American, Tori Rodriguez looks at the downsides of fear of happiness: Continue reading Do You Fear Happiness?
Is it in your highest good to stay away from people who trigger you? The answer might surprise you.
I’m sure you’ve had the experience of consistently being triggered by a certain kind of person. I certainly have. Before Inner Bonding, I tended to get irritated by people who pushed my buttons. Now, I know that these people are my best teachers.
Rosa is struggling with this issue:
“Do certain people trigger our wounded selves while others do not? If I practice Inner Bonding long enough could I become consistent in not being triggered? Should I avoid people who trigger me most intensely – like my lover?” Continue reading “Should I Avoid People Who Push My Buttons?”
By Margaret, on December 15th, 2014
Knowing the difference between caring and caretaking can sometimes be confusing. Discover how to tell the difference.
Have you sometimes wondered how to know the difference between caring and caretaking? This is the question that Arielle is asking:
“I’m mindful of my over-giving tendency. But often I don’t realize I’m caretaking until after the fact when I feel drained. How can I know (before I take the action) when my giving is really caretaking?”
To know the difference, you need to become aware of a number of issues. Here are some questions you can ask yourself:
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