Knowing the difference between caring and caretaking can sometimes be confusing. Discover how to tell the difference.
Have you sometimes wondered how to know the difference between caring and caretaking? This is the question that Arielle is asking:
“I’m mindful of my over-giving tendency. But often I don’t realize I’m caretaking until after the fact when I feel drained. How can I know (before I take the action) when my giving is really caretaking?”
To know the difference, you need to become aware of a number of issues. Here are some questions you can ask yourself:
Loneliness is a huge problem in our society. It doesn’t have to be this way.
A study “followed nearly 45,000 people ages 45 and up who had heart disease or a high risk of developing the condition. Those who lived alone, the study found, were more likely to die from heart attacks, strokes, or other heart complications over a four-year period than people living with family or friends, or in some other communal arrangement.”http://www.cnn.com/2012/06/18/health/mental-health/loneliness-isolation-health/index.html
In his best-selling book, “Outliers,” Malcolm Gladwell opens with a study done in a small Pennsylvania town called Roseto, where people never die of heart attacks – due to the closeness and connections within their community. Continue reading Living Alone Can Kill You
Most people want connection with their partner. Discover what you might be doing that leads to disconnection.
Most people want to be connected with someone special in their lives. But if people really want this, why do so many complain of feeling lonely and disconnected from their partner? What needs to happen for them to connect?
Disconnection Happens When…
One or both people are focused on controlling and not being controlled, and are protecting against being hurt/rejected/controlled with anger, blame, withdrawal, resistance, compliance, work, alcohol, drugs, TV, food, daydreaming, ruminating, over-talking, people-pleasing and so on. Continue reading Do You Want To Connect With Your Partner?
A client of mine asked, “Is there such a thing as healthy caretaking?” Here is the answer!
I was trained by my mother and grandmother to be a caretaker. The messages were: “Your feelings are not important to us at all. You need to learn to completely ignore your own feelings and instead take care of our feelings. In return for this, we will occasionally give you some approval for being a good girl.”
I learned my lessons well. I learned to stay in my head rather than my heart and soul so that I wouldn’t be aware of my own feelings. I learned to be very vigilant regarding others’ feelings and to do all I could to be what they wanted me to be. I completely lost touch with myself. Continue reading Is There Such A Thing As Healthy Caretaking?
What is loving to yourself and others is not always clear. This article presents some important questions to consider. . . . → Read More: Can You Love Others?
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