Is your partner’s messiness driving you crazy? Discover how to resolve this issue in your relationship.
When we meet and fall in love with someone, we often don’t think about what might seem like minor differences, which can later turn into major conflicts. One of these differences that frequently occurs with my clients is neatness vs. messiness.
Vanessa, in one of our Skype sessions, said:
“I’m a naturally neat person and my husband, Derek, is very messy. I’m constantly picking up after him and I hate it. I’ve talked to him about it, letting him know that neatness is very important to me and that I feel crabby and overwhelmed when things are messy, but nothing changes. It makes me feel very uncared about, and I don’t know what to do.” Continue reading I’m Neat, He’s Messy–What Can I Do?
Most people want connection with their partner. Discover what you might be doing that leads to disconnection.
Most people want to be connected with someone special in their lives. But if people really want this, why do so many complain of feeling lonely and disconnected from their partner? What needs to happen for them to connect?
Disconnection Happens When…
One or both people are focused on controlling and not being controlled, and are protecting against being hurt/rejected/controlled with anger, blame, withdrawal, resistance, compliance, work, alcohol, drugs, TV, food, daydreaming, ruminating, over-talking, people-pleasing and so on. Continue reading Do You Want To Connect With Your Partner?
“If you ask something of someone and you are upset over their response, then it wasn’t a request, it was a demand.” – Michael E. Angier
Most of us hate being demanded of. We don’t like being put in the position of feeling we have to say ‘yes’ in order to not run into another’s upset with us. Sometimes, to delay the negative response, we might say ‘yes’ and then not do it, hoping that the anticipated anger will never come. We might even mean ‘yes’ in the moment we say it, but because most of us hate being controlled by another, we might unconsciously resist doing what the other person has asked us to do. Continue reading Are You Demanding? Do You Hate Demands?
What is loving to yourself and others is not always clear. This article presents some important questions to consider. . . . → Read More: Can You Love Others?
I’ve been counseling individuals and couples for many years. More than half the time, when couples are having problems or the relationship is dissolving, sex is one of the major issues. There are a number of common scenarios:
After a long marriage with regular sex, he comes home to discover that his wife has left. He is devastated, and has no idea why. Upon exploration, it turns out that he has expected sex at least three times a week. While his wife complied, he knew that she felt emotionally disconnected from him and needed to grit her teeth to have sex with him. Looking back, he realizes that she tried to express this to him and he had refused to listen. Now she was gone.
The partners are still together, but the sex is essentially gone from the relationship. This frequently occurs in both heterosexual and homosexual relationships. One partner may be more upset about this than the other. Continue reading What Does Having Sex Mean to You?
We have all learned many ways of trying to avoid or get rid of our painful feelings. Many of these ways are fairly obvious: addictions to substances and activities, staying in your mind rather than in your body, or judging yourself.
Another major way we avoid or try to get rid of our painful feelings is making others responsible for them in various ways. When we are filled with painful feelings and are not open to our Guidance to help us learn from them and release them, we might dump them on others in various ways, in an effort to release them. How do you dump your feelings onto another? Continue reading How do you Make Others Responsible for Your Painful Feelings?
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