Finding The Partner Of My Dreams

Are you seeking the formula for attracting the partner of your dreams? Here it is!
Rochelle asks:

“If I assess myself quite objectively, if I know my accomplishments as well as my drawbacks, is there a chance to be loved by a worthy solid and wholesome man – the one I feel I`d be happy with? By the one who is objectively stronger and wiser and kinder? `Cause it seems to me that I`m not worthy of him, because I know really bad sides of myself such as envy, unhealthy jealousy, pride, cowardice… And I am still trying to do away with them and do not know how much time it will take to get rid of them for it is a life-time process.”

Rochelle, in order to find the man of your dreams, you need to become the person you are seeking – the strong, wise and kind person you want to partner with. We all have positive and negative qualities, because we all have an incredibly wonderful essence as well as a wounded ego self. Continue reading Finding The Partner Of My Dreams

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Does Niceness Get A Closed Person Open?

Were you taught that if you were nice others would be nice?

“I had this really terrible interaction on the phone with a customer on Tuesday,” Carlton told me in our Skype session. “This guy was so closed and controlling. He just kept yelling about what he wanted me to do. I was being really nice, but it didn’t seem to make any difference. The conversation went on for an hour and we didn’t get anywhere. He just kept acting crazy. I ended up exhausted and drained. Why do people have to be like that?”

Carlton is a really ‘nice guy.’ The problem is he believes that his niceness is a way to control getting closed people to open. This was not the first time I’d heard about someone acting ‘crazy’ with Carlton. He had just ended a relationship with a woman who did the same thing. Continue reading Does Niceness Get A Closed Person Open?

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What Will Love Give You?

What are your beliefs about what another’s love will give to you?

Did you grow up believing that if only someone REALLY loved you in the way you needed to be loved, then you would feel happy, safe, lovable and worthy?

Certainly being truly loved by parents goes a long way toward supporting children in feeling safe and lovable, but it is not the whole story. Even if your parents did love you the way you needed to be loved, if they didn’t role-model loving themselves, then it is likely you absorbed their forms of self-abandonment – judging themselves, turning to various addictions to manage their feelings, and making others responsible for their feelings and sense of worth. Continue reading What Will Love Give You?

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Do You Chase When Someone Withdraws?

A member of our website asked this question in our advice section:

I’ve read several of the articles on the site, but have not seen anything mentioned about “chasing” after someone who is pulling away in a relationship. That has to be a form of protection against deeper feelings, though, right? If someone is pulling away and the urge to chase after them comes up, what is the best thing to do in this situation? Thanks!

I know exactly what this woman is going through, as I used to go through the same thing. When a man I felt connected to would withdraw, shut down, or pull away in any way, I would feel a sense of panic. In my panic, I would convince myself that by being a certain way – attractive enough, sexy enough, nice enough, right enough, or convincing enough – I could get him to reconnect with me. Continue reading Do You Chase When Someone Withdraws?

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Relationships: Attract at Your Common Level of Self-Love

Learn to attract people at your common level of self-love, rather than at your common level of self-abandonment. . . . → Read More: Relationships: Attract at Your Common Level of Self-Love

Others Treat Us The Way We Treat Ourselves

“Everybody is like a magnet. You attract to yourself reflections of that which you are. If you’re friendly, then everybody else seems to be friendly too.” —Dr. David Hawkins, Physician and Lecturer 

Have you ever noticed how true this is?

I would change it a bit and say that we attract to ourselves what we choose to be in any given moment.

What we intrinsically are, is our true essence, which is a spark of the Divine – unconditional love. But since we don’t always attract unconditional love to us, others are generally reflecting who we’ve chosen to be. Continue reading Others Treat Us The Way We Treat Ourselves

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