Is your partner’s messiness driving you crazy? Discover how to resolve this issue in your relationship.
When we meet and fall in love with someone, we often don’t think about what might seem like minor differences, which can later turn into major conflicts. One of these differences that frequently occurs with my clients is neatness vs. messiness.
Vanessa, in one of our Skype sessions, said:
“I’m a naturally neat person and my husband, Derek, is very messy. I’m constantly picking up after him and I hate it. I’ve talked to him about it, letting him know that neatness is very important to me and that I feel crabby and overwhelmed when things are messy, but nothing changes. It makes me feel very uncared about, and I don’t know what to do.” Continue reading I’m Neat, He’s Messy–What Can I Do?
Are you aware of what state you are in when you and your partner come together?
On a recent visit with my daughter and her family, she and I were taking a walk and talking about our mutual work.
“I read a lot of books about relationships that offer suggestions for how to approach your partner to get your partner to connect with you,” she said. “These books do a great job of describing the ways we behave that cause relationship disconnection—which is helpful—but I have not found it helpful with my husband to TRY to get him to connect with me. We connect naturally when we are both connected with ourselves.” Continue reading Do You Come To Your Partner Open And/or Happy?
“If you ask something of someone and you are upset over their response, then it wasn’t a request, it was a demand.” – Michael E. Angier
Most of us hate being demanded of. We don’t like being put in the position of feeling we have to say ‘yes’ in order to not run into another’s upset with us. Sometimes, to delay the negative response, we might say ‘yes’ and then not do it, hoping that the anticipated anger will never come. We might even mean ‘yes’ in the moment we say it, but because most of us hate being controlled by another, we might unconsciously resist doing what the other person has asked us to do. Continue reading Are You Demanding? Do You Hate Demands?
Are you contemplating divorce? Reading this article may help you decide what is right for you.
In my work with individuals and couples for the last 43 years, I’ve had two very different experiences regarding people who have divorced:
One group of people are happy that they finally left a marriage where they were very unhappy. They feel that they have their life back, and sometimes even their health back. They feel relief and freedom and are proud of themselves that they finally got themselves out of a bad situation.
The other group has huge regrets. They look back and see that, if they had hung in and worked on themselves, they could likely have created a loving relationship. They are disillusioned with their experience of dating, and realize that their ex is a good and caring person. Most of the time their ex has moved on and is in another relationship.
We have all learned many ways of trying to avoid or get rid of our painful feelings. Many of these ways are fairly obvious: addictions to substances and activities, staying in your mind rather than in your body, or judging yourself.
Another major way we avoid or try to get rid of our painful feelings is making others responsible for them in various ways. When we are filled with painful feelings and are not open to our Guidance to help us learn from them and release them, we might dump them on others in various ways, in an effort to release them. How do you dump your feelings onto another? Continue reading How do you Make Others Responsible for Your Painful Feelings?
Discover the surprising statistics about second and third marriages, and why they have such a poor success rate.
“It’s time for me to move on. I’ve learned so much – I just know that next time it will be better.”
“Our new relationship has a great chance, because we’ve both been married before and have learned a lot. We know that this time around we will do it so much better.”
Is this true? Apparently not!
According to research by Jennifer Baker, of the Forest Institute of Professional Psychology in Springfield, Missouri, while 50% of first marriages end in divorce, 67% of second marriages and 74% of third marriages end in divorce.
Comments are closed 
Listen to Dr. Margaret Paul's interview with 
