How often have you had the thought, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t…

• Get angry, yell, curse, call names, say mean, untrue things about me
• Project your behavior onto me
• Withdraw, run away, shut down, sit spaced-out in front of the TV
• Resist doing what I ask you to do
• Look at other women, have an affair
• ____________________ (fill in your own)

I used to have this thought all the time. If someone yelled, blamed me, shut me out, didn’t see me accurately, or went into resistance, I would think, “You don’t care about me. If you cared about me, you wouldn’t treat me this way. How can you say you care about me and then treat me this way?” Sometimes I would even say this out loud. And always I would feel deep loneliness and heartache at being treated this way.

Then one day I suddenly saw all this uncaring behavior in a completely different light. Continue reading “If You Really Loved Me, You Wouldn’t…”