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On April 1, 2011, Matt Cantor, Newser Staff, posted “As Americans Get More Self-Centered, So Do Lyrics Study finds increasingly narcissistic words in top 10 hits.” Today’s hit songs aren’t about “us”-they’re just about “me,” a study finds. Researchers examined Billboard’s top 10 songs in the US each year from 1980 to 2007, and . . . → Read More: Americans: More Self-Centered… and More Lonely  Comments are closed  Self Improvement & Personal Growth, Spiritual Growth  aggression, empathy, Inner Bonding, lonely, love, Margaret Paul, self-absorbed, self-centered, self-centered Americans Have you ever noticed how bad you feel when you try to control things you can’t control – such as others and outcomes? Larry consulted with me because he was often miserable – despite running a successful business, and having a lovely wife and two daughters, whom he adored. It soon became apparent that Larry was deeply addicted to controlling everything – his own feelings, how others felt about him, how well his employees performed, what his wife did for him, how well his children did in school, and whether or not anyone ever took advantage of him. His primary intent in life was to be in control and not be controlled. Continue reading Trying to Control Makes us Miserable       Gretchen is typical of many of the clients that I work with. In our first session she said:
Most therapies do not deal with the underlying cause of anxiety and depression. Lila, a member of the Inner Bonding® website, shared this about her healing process:
Kari and Rudy consulted with me because they kept having conflicts over the same issues over and over – primarily money, chores, and child-rearing. They were nearing the decision to separate, believing that they were incompatible. I asked them to pick one of the issues and they picked a recent conflict regarding setting limits for their children. I asked them to discuss the issue and I immediately understood why they could not resolve their issues. I explained to them that there are always two levels of communication:
There are only two possible intents in discussing an issue with your partner: Continue reading Relationships: Do You Have the Same Conflicts Over and Over? I, like many of you, was brought up and programmed to believe in a number of ideas that have turned out to be untrue. These false beliefs led me to make various life and relationship mistakes. I didn’t like making mistakes any more than you do, but it is from my mistakes that I’ve learned so much. In this article, I’m going to discuss the 4 major mistakes that I used to make and that so many of my counseling clients make before working with me. Self-judgment I used to judge and shame myself unmercifully, although mostly unconsciously. Until I started to pay attention to my anxiety, stress, and insecurity, I never realized how much I judged and shamed myself. Continue reading Are You Making These 4 Mistakes? Comments are closed Self Improvement & Personal Growth anxiety, compassion, Inner Bonding, insecurity, intent to control, intent to learn, kindness, love, Margaret Paul, mistakes, Relationships, self esteem, self worth, self-validation, stress Many of us have heard of the Law of Attraction – that like attracts like. However, many are confused about what this really means. In my experience, like attracts like means that like frequency attracts like frequency. My high frequency attracts the things I want and my low frequency attracts the things I don’t want. The question then becomes, what raises or lowers frequency? What Lowers Frequency? Continue reading The Law of Attraction – It’s About Frequency |
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