Dr. Margaret Paul, co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® self-healing process, the SelfQuest
self-healing software program and also the author/co-author of several best-selling books.
Gaining Others’ Respect
Posted on : 01-03-2010 | By : Margaret | In : Relationships, Self Improvement & Personal Growth, Spiritual Growth
Tags: Addictions, controlling behavior, disrespect, God, Inner Bonding, integrity, Margaret Paul, personal responsibility, respect, spirituality, victim
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We all want to be respected by others. And, we would all love to have control over whether or not others treat us respectfully. Is this realistic?
Nigel, one of my clients, has a lot of confusion about this issue. He believes that people, especially his wife and children, “should” be respectful to him, and he gets very angry when they treat him disrespectfully – which they often do.
What Nigel has failed to understand – which is what led him to seek my help – is that others are often a mirror of how we treat ourselves.
Much of my work with Nigel has centered around becoming aware of the many ways he disrespects himself and what would be respectful to himself.
Emotionally:
- He often judges his own feelings, discounting his feelings and telling himself that he “shouldn’t” feel this way.
- He often ignores his feelings, staying focused in his head instead of his body, and turning to addictions, such as sugar and TV to numb his feelings.
- He sees himself as a victim of others’ choices, making others responsible for his feelings rather than taking responsibility for his own pain and joy.
Physically:
