When To Compromise…And When Not To Compromise

Discover when compromise is healthy and when it’s self-abandoning.

Compromise! What does this word conjure up for you? Is it is a positive or negative word for you? Does it bring up a sense of loving resolution, or a sense of losing yourself and losing your integrity?

When you think about compromising, what are . . . → Read More: When To Compromise…And When Not To Compromise

Are You Stuck in One-Way Relationships?

Do you sometimes feel trapped with some who wants to be listened to but doesn’t want to listen to you?

One of the common complaints I hear from my clients is that they listen well but they end up just listening and never being heard.

This is the issue that Ginger wrote to me . . . → Read More: Are You Stuck in One-Way Relationships?

Do You Make People Up?

Do you often see people as you want them to be rather than as they are? Has this caused you problems in your relationships?

“We don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are.” —Anais Nin

A variation on the above quote might be, “We don’t see people as they are – . . . → Read More: Do You Make People Up?

How Not To Have A Wonderful Celebration

The control-resist system guarantees you won’t have a wonderful anything.

Adriann and Chandler are a sweet, successful couple in their early thirties. In spite of loving each other deeply, they often find themselves in conflict over seemingly minor issues, as most couples do. Recently, just one week before their 4th anniversary, they had a . . . → Read More: How Not To Have A Wonderful Celebration

How Controlling Others Controls You

How are you limiting yourself to limit your partner? What are the consequences of this?

“As long as you keep a person down, some part of you has to be down there to hold him down, so it means you cannot soar as you otherwise might.” ~Marian Anderson 1902-1993, Concert and Opera Singer

“I’ve . . . → Read More: How Controlling Others Controls You

Are You Confused About Boundaries in Relationships?

Many people confuse boundaries – which are a way of taking loving care of yourself – with controlling behavior toward others.


Marilee told me in one of our early phone sessions: “I set a boundary. I told him that he couldn’t speak to me that way any more.”

Jackson said to me in one of our early Skype sessions: “I earn the money. My girlfriend doesn’t work, but loves to spend the money I earn. So I set a boundary. I told her that she had to stop spending so much money and racking up credit card bills.”

Both of these people are confused about what a boundary is. They think a boundary is something they set for someone else, but they are wrong.

A boundary is something you set for yourself. Continue reading Are You Confused About Boundaries in Relationships?

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