Why Do People Kill?

We need to resolve the violence in our society. I’m offering a few ideas regarding the issues we need to research and address.


Why? Why are these horrible killings happening?

I don’t pretend to know the answers, but I do have some ideas that I want to share with you. I believe there are many issues that we need to attend to as a society.

There is much talk about the need for more mental health facilities, but just as important is why so many people are mentally ill.

People who know how to love and value themselves also love and value others, and would never deliberately do harm to others. People capable of empathy could not do what Adam Lanza did. The question is: What created such a degree of internal disconnection from his own feelings and empathic ability, and what created the level of self-loathing that resulted in Adam Lanza killing 20 children and six adults? What creates such a deep inability to regulate feelings? Why did Adam Lanza never learn to manage his feelings in a way that didn’t hurt others? Continue reading Why Do People Kill?

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Finally! Studies Prove That Spanking Doesn’t Work

Do you hit your children? If you want to raise healthy children, reading this article is a must. . . . → Read More: Finally! Studies Prove That Spanking Doesn’t Work

Can You Love Others?

What is loving to yourself and others is not always clear. This article presents some important questions to consider. . . . → Read More: Can You Love Others?

A Problem with Today’s Parenting

Many parents try to be far better parents than their parents were, yet their children grow up feeling lost and empty. Discover why in this article.

There was an interesting article in The Atlantic, entitled “How to Land Your Kid in Therapy: Why the obsession with our kids’ happiness may be dooming them to unhappy adulthoods. A therapist and mother reports.”

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/07/how-to-land-your-kid-in-therapy/8555/

Feeling lost

The article is about the way many parents focus much of their energy on being there for their children, but their children end up feeling lost and empty. Continue reading A Problem with Today’s Parenting

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Enmeshed Parenting

“Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself. They came through you but not from you and though they are with you yet they belong not to you.”
— Kahlil Gibran
Symptoms of enmeshed parenting:
  • Your children’s good or difficult behavior and successful or unsuccessful achievements define your worth.
  • Your children are the center of your life – your purpose in life.
  • Your focus is on taking care of your children rather than taking care yourself.
  • Your happiness or pain is determined by your children.
  • You are invasive – you need to know everything about what your children think and do.

If you identify with one or more of these symptoms, you might be enmeshed with your children.

Consequences for your children of you being enmeshed with them: Continue reading Enmeshed Parenting

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The Inner Bonding® Path to Loving Parenting

Half of good parenting is being there for your children, and the other half is being a role model of personal responsibility for your own feelings and needs. Discover how important it is to your children for you to love yourself.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, . . . → Read More: The Inner Bonding® Path to Loving Parenting