Are You Codependent With Your Higher Power?

By Dr. Margaret Paul
August 31, 2020


spirituality, love, higher power, codependency
Hilary wrote:

I am eating very clean and working out five days a week. I try to meditate every day. Despite this, I feel disconnected and unloved by my Higher Power. I know this is just how I FEEL and not reality. I tell my little girl it’s not true…but I can’t seem to change this belief. I know connection will help me. I need some guidance from you to hear my Guidance!

It’s wonderful that Hilary is eating well, exercising and meditating. But taking loving care of herself involves much more than that. The fact that she feels disconnected from and unloved by her higher power indicates that she is disconnected from her feelings and not loving herself – that she is operating from her wounded self.

Telling her inner child that something isn’t true is not at all the same thing as living from the truth. If she is abandoning herself by ignoring her feelings – staying in her head rather than in her heart – by judging herself, by turning to various addictions (even meditation can be an addiction if the intent is to bliss out and avoid her feelings, or to control God), or by making others responsible for her feelings, then she is operating from a closed heart. There is no way to connect with her guidance when her heart is closed.

It is unrealistic for her to expect to feel the love of her higher power when she is not being loving to herself. She cannot feel the unconditional love of Spirit until her heart is open to loving herself.

This issue is about her intent. It sounds like her intent is to have control over getting love from her higher power, rather than to open to learning with her higher power about what is loving to herself and others, and taking loving action in her own behalf.


Are you codependent with your higher power? Are you expecting your higher power to do for you what only you can do for yourself?

Our guidance is spirit – the incredible energy of unconditional love and wisdom of the universe. It is always here for you, so when you feel disconnected from your higher power, it is you who is doing the disconnecting – not your higher power.

When your inner child feels YOUR love for yourself – because you are connected with your feelings, wanting responsibility for them, open to learning about your false beliefs and about how you are treating yourself that causes your inner child to feel unloved by you, open to learning with your guidance about truth and loving action, and taking loving action in your own behalf – which is doing Inner Bonding – then you will feel the love from your guidance.


It’s best to let go for now of even thinking about whether or not you feel loved by and connected with your higher power…

Focus instead on whether or not your inner child feels connected with and loved by you as a loving adult. This is the path to connection with spirit.

Hilary mentioned meditation, and meditation is great – if your intent in meditating is to get connected with yourself and your guidance. So if you meditate, notice your intent when you are meditating. Do you have an agenda of getting love from your higher power? Do you believe that meditating will give you some control over how your higher power feels about you? If you notice that this is your intent, then you can consciously shift your intent to learning about loving yourself. This will make a huge difference in your experience of meditating and in your experience of connecting with your guidance.

Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: “Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships.”

Image by PIRO4D from Pixabay



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