The Law of Love

I have learned over my 43 years of counseling that no one heals without a personal connection to a spiritual source of Guidance.

William was struggling with issues of shame and depression. He had struggled with feelings of insecurity and jealousy most of his life, despite years of inner work. While he intellectually knew that he was okay, emotionally he never felt it. This was his first phone session with me.

“William,” I asked, “what is your concept of God or a Higher Power?”

“Oh, you know, the traditional Judeo/Christian concept – an old dude up in the sky dishing out judgments.” Continue reading The Law of Love

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“I Don’t Deserve to be Loved”

Have you ever said to yourself, “The reason God doesn’t love me is I don’t deserve to be loved?” 

Have you ever looked inside to discover why you might not be loving to yourself and answered with, “I’m not worthy of love”?

I hear this all the time from my clients. It is often one of the major false beliefs of the ego wounded self.

What exactly does this mean? When I ask people the question, “Why don’t you deserve love?” they say, “I don’t know. I guess if I deserved love, I would have been loved.” Continue reading “I Don’t Deserve to be Loved”

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The Crazymaking Trap: Proving Your Worth Over and Over

Marcus grew up the eldest of three, with a highly critical mother and an absent father. Marcus’s mother frequently told him or implied that he was too stupid to take care of himself – that he would be nothing without her. She programmed him to believe that she was his only source of love and safety, but that she wouldn’t give him the love he so desperately needed until he proved himself worthy of it by doing things “right”. She taught him to be confused between love and approval, and to be constantly trying to control getting love and avoiding the pain of rejection. Marcus was deeply addicted to self-judgment as a way of trying to have control over getting himself to do things right. Continue reading The Crazymaking Trap: Proving Your Worth Over and Over
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