Merilee wrote the following question to me in one of my relationship webinars:
“Hi Dr. Paul — One of my biggest struggles is being open to giving and receiving love, but also setting boundaries. I want to be loving, not controlling, but I don’t want people to say or treat me in ways that I don’t like. How to reconcile?”
Merilee, of course you don’t want people to treat you in ways that you don’t like. Who would want that? It’s painful when people treat us in unloving ways.
However, the real issue is to come to terms with what you can and can’t control. I get the feeling from your question that, while you don’t want to be controlling, you believe that setting boundaries gives you control over whether or not others treat you in ways you don’t like. Continue reading The Art of Setting Boundaries
We cannot shut down our pain without also shutting down our love and joy. Watching this 1 minute movie, “The Gift of Tears,” will inspire you to keep your heart open to all feelings.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® . . . → Read More: Inspirational Video: The Gift of Tears
Learn what you can do when you don’t feel appreciated by your partner.
Chris wrote this question for one of my relationship webinars:
“What do you do when you feel you are not loved for who you are? How do you accept your relationship when you don’t feel appreciated, or you think it’s your fault for what happens in your life? How can you change your relationship? How can you make it better?”
There are two ways of dealing with this issue.
Explore Within
Are you appreciating yourself? If you are judging yourself and telling yourself that ‘it’s your fault’ for what happens in your life, then it sounds like you are not seeing or appreciating yourself. Frequently, others treat us the way we treat ourselves. Do you like yourself? Do you love yourself? Do you value yourself? These are the kinds of questions you need to ask yourself. Continue reading “I’m Not Appreciated”
Do you often wonder when you will ‘get there?’ Watching this 1 minute movie, “You Are ‘There’ When You Care,” will remind you that, at any moment you chose to care, you’ve arrived.
Margaret Paul, Ph.D. is a best-selling author of 8 books, relationship expert, and co-creator of the powerful Inner Bonding® process . . . → Read More: Inspirational Video: You Are ‘There’ When You Care
Pamela writes this question for my webinar on food addiction:
“I am a 22-yr old female weighing 220 lbs with a height of 5.9″. I am very much over-weight and I know this. However the motivation to get fit is not there. I usually tell myself that I will get up early in the morning and work out but that never seems to work out. I see most of my friends modeling and doing things that I would feel too ashamed to do at my size but want to. I really want to get back down to size but don’t know where to start. Can you help me please?”
Pamela, here is what you need to ask yourself: “What is more important to me than getting back down to size?”
Is it more important to you to use food to avoid your painful feelings of anxiety, depression, loneliness or heartache? Eating addictively is a form of self-abandonment. You are using food to fill the emptiness within that can only be filled with love – love for yourself. Until you want to learn to love yourself, you will not be motivated to get fit. Continue reading Overweight and Miserable
Are you seeking the formula for attracting the partner of your dreams? Here it is!
Rochelle asks:
“If I assess myself quite objectively, if I know my accomplishments as well as my drawbacks, is there a chance to be loved by a worthy solid and wholesome man – the one I feel I`d be happy with? By the one who is objectively stronger and wiser and kinder? `Cause it seems to me that I`m not worthy of him, because I know really bad sides of myself such as envy, unhealthy jealousy, pride, cowardice… And I am still trying to do away with them and do not know how much time it will take to get rid of them for it is a life-time process.”
Rochelle, in order to find the man of your dreams, you need to become the person you are seeking – the strong, wise and kind person you want to partner with. We all have positive and negative qualities, because we all have an incredibly wonderful essence as well as a wounded ego self. Continue reading Finding The Partner Of My Dreams
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