I’m certain that many of you can relate to the following question from Serena:
“I’ve noticed I’m extreme. When I look after my heath I don’t allow myself any unhealthy food, but after a few months I get fed up with being cautious and then I eat only processed food. I know it’s wrong but I continue. And again I start to eat healthy and so on. With exercising and meditation and Inner Bonding I’m doing the same. I’ll do it seriously for few months and I stop for few months. I have such difficult time finding a balance. Any suggestions?”
The reason that Serena can’t create balance is because it’s her wounded self who is in charge. Her wounded self decides that it’s time to eat well or exercise or meditate or do Inner Bonding as a form of control – to do things ‘right.’ But because these choices are not coming from a deep desire to love herself, she can’t keep them up, and then she tells herself she is doing them ‘wrong.’
It’s likely that Serena thinks she needs will power to continue to take loving care of herself, but this isn’t true. She will never find balance in her life with will power.
I used to use will power all the time to try to control my weight. Like Serena, I could do it for awhile but inevitably I’d end up eating sugar and other junk. That doesn’t happen anymore and it’s not at all because of will power.
We Take Care Of What We Value
Before Inner Bonding, I didn’t value myself. I thought I wasn’t good enough, and I thought I had to give myself up to please others to be seen as good enough. Giving myself up was so painful to my inner child that I would inevitably turn to food for comfort.
As I learned how to connect with my spiritual Guidance, I began to see my essence, my core soul Self – my inner child – through the eyes of my loving Guidance. My Guidance loves my aliveness, my passion for helping others, my creativity, belly laughs, integrity, empathy and compassion, sensitivity, kindness and so many other essence qualities. As I learned to feel my Guidance’s love for me, I started to love and value myself, and with this came a deep desire to take loving care of myself.
Now I consistently eat well. I have for many years and it’s not at all hard. I eat well because I so value my inner child that I want her to have a healthy body in which to travel through this life. I exercise daily for the same reason and I do Inner Bonding for the same reason. I’ve also created balance between work and play. When I work, I work hard because I love my work and I feel so blessed to be able to do this work, and when I play I thoroughly enjoy all that I do to have fun and to be creative. I don’t have to discipline myself to create all this balance because I naturally want to take loving care of what I value.
For Serena to create balance in her life, she needs to practice Inner Bonding, which will lead to connecting with her Guidance and seeing the beauty and wonderfulness of her essence. It will lead to developing her loving adult self who wants to consistently eat well and consistently exercise and consistently practice Inner Bonding because she loves herself so much that she wants to do these loving things for herself.
Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: “Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships.”
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