“There never has been security. No man has ever known what he would meet around the next corner; if life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.” –Eleanor Roosevelt
“I know that leaving my job was the right thing to do, as it was literally making me sick, but I want so much to know how all this turns out. I’m so scared about the future.”
“I know that separating from my husband was the right thing for me to do at this time, as we were really hurting each other, but I wish I could see into the future. I want to know how all this turns out.”
“What’s going to happen on our planet with all this illness? How is all this going to turn out?”
We go to psychics and astrologers and read our horoscope to try to predict the future, hoping to hear something that will calm our fears. But we are missing the point.
As Eleanor Roosevelt so brilliantly pointed out, “…if life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor.”
How can we live with peace in our hearts and souls when we don’t know what’s around the corner?
I once read a great analogy for life: Life is a total-immersion movie. We enter the movie theater when we are born, and we soon forget that we are in a movie theater. We go through pain and joy and learning and loving, and after the movie is over, we go back to reality – our real life in Spirit.
When you know that your soul is immortal and that you are a spiritual being living an earthly journey, then you always know how it comes out – you go home to Spirit.
Occasionally I enjoy seeing a movie more than once, but most of the time I don’t enjoy it as much the second time. Knowing what is going to happen takes away some of the enjoyment. If we always knew what was around the corner in our lives on the planet, what would be the point?
The point of life is to learn to be in the present moment with love and truth, especially now with all the challenges we are facing. When I’m fully in the moment, I can’t worry about the future, and I have peace in my soul and love in my heart. However, staying in the moment is one of the great challenges of being on this planet.
Safety
Often, themes emerge in my Intensives. The theme in one recent Intensive was safety. Many of the participants were dealing with issues of safety in their relationships – safety over not being left, not being rejected, not being controlled and losing themselves. As some of you know, the wounded self is all about having control over getting love and avoiding pain in order to feel safe. The major questions we ask ourselves when we are exploring our wounded selves are:
- What am I trying to control in order to feel safe?
- What am I trying to avoid feeling in order to feel safe?
The wounded self operates from the illusion that we can create safety and security by controlling and avoiding.
Controlling and avoiding does not provide safety in relationships, and in fact causes much unnecessary pain. At the same time, there is a place for appropriate control and avoidance in the practical world. It’s very important to create safety by controlling what we can control, such as eating well to strength our immune system, and washing our hands frequently. It’s also important to avoid certain things when we can, such as gathering in crowds during times of contagious illness.
Each of us has control over whether we choose to practice Inner Bonding to stay present and connected with our guidance so that we don’t put ourselves into unsafe situations. I encourage us all to make this healthy choice.
Loving Is Never Going To Be Safe
We need each other right now with all the challenges on our planet, but loving is never safe. When I love, my heart is often broken. It breaks my heart when someone I love is hurting, or not taking loving care of themselves, or being mean and controlling with me. If I’m not willing to feel the loneliness and heartbreak of loving, then I will keep my heart closed to try to feel safe. Safe and lonely. Safe and empty. Safe and numb. Safe and anxious. What’s safe about that?
For me, the only safety is knowing that at the end of this movie called life, I will go home. I will hopefully have evolved my soul in love, and I will hopefully return home having learned the lessons I set out to learn about loving myself and others.
What if you accepted that there is no true safety on this planet, and you were still willing to live your life moment by moment, opening to learning each moment about loving and fully manifesting yourself, even with all the challenges we currently face?
Join Dr. Margaret Paul for her 30-Day at-home Course: “Love Yourself: An Inner Bonding Experience to Heal Anxiety, Depression, Shame, Addictions and Relationships.”
Join IBVillage to connect with others and receive compassionate help and support for learning to love yourself.